The Long Story

Where to start?

Those of you who know me from high school may remember that I was often sick. That was Crohn's Disease, which I've had since I was 9, and culminated in me requiring part of my intestine removed in the early spring of 93. After that, the disease went into remission, and I spend most of my early 20s in great health.

I moved to Huntsville, staying the summer, taking classes and getting a job instead of going home, which made me officially an Alabama resident. Damn it was nice how much tuition at UAH dropped.

By January of 1996 I had an Alabama EMT license as a result of one of my electives. So I joined the Huntsville Madison Rescue Squad and volunteered with them for a decade. I was on the Board of Directors for 2 terms and got to play with the big boys when I helped plan the Huntsville International Airports' Disaster Response Plan (a full scale drill of a crash landing, which is required by the FAA every 10 years for every airport).

During that time my back started to ache and get worse over the years. I also had a minor flare of the Crohn's, so I had all sorts of tests, and that's when it was discovered I had Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) and Ankylosing Spondylitis (AS). The links will take you to the Wikipedia article for each, right click and open a new tab if to keep this one open.

The good thing is the treatment for Crohn's, the medications, also treat RA and AS.

During this time I met my EvilTimmy (hey, that's what my hubby calls himself online), and we got married 3 times and never divorced. First, we were married by Common Law (Alabama is one of the few Common Law states left) when I told Huntsville Hospital he was my husband, not my boyfriend or fiancee. The moment we presented ourselves as married, we were under Alabama law, which was in 1997.

EvilTimmy is an Engineer and I graduated with an Art Degree, specializing in Graphic Design. I was hired by a military contractor to work on the Redstone Arsenal, and hubby was hired by a different contractor. We both needed at least Secret level security clearances. So we went to the Courthouse, since while the government recognizes Common Law marriages, the Department of Defense does not. Marriage number 2.

One year later, to the day it turns out, we were able to get a venue for the wedding ceremony for our families, since most didn't know about marriages number 1 or 2. It turns out our anniversary is November 17 of 1997, 2000, or 2001 depending on who we're talking to. We've been married 10 to 13 years. No children since we decided early we didn't want any and it would be detrimental to my health to carry a fetus.

Then, one day in April of 2004, while I was at work, I had a horrible dizzy spell. I left work early, got home by luck and muscle memory so I didn't end up in a ditch. That was the first major symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis. While going through testing, I realized I'd been having minor symptoms for months.

Yay, even more meds. One med does start helping, I'm not having as many falls (my neurologist says I have to use a cane outside the house, and I mostly do), and my coordination isn't getting worse, at least.

But then comes the down side. It makes triggered an episode of paranoia and anxiety directed toward the computer. Not anyone on the computer, but the machine in general. I wouldn't fire up Photoshop, or get on the internet just to check the weather.

That's the last 15 years of my life, in a very large nutshell. Please don't take any offense if I don't respond to any comments, I may be having a bad day as far as the computer goes. Comment here or on Facebook, whichever you prefer. I only ask that here I'm Mira, regardless of what my Facebook name is.

Whew. That was a lot

time dilation and having the plague

So, as you might have guessed, the previous post is pretty much a month late. It's not that I wasn't completely thrilled by David's phone call, but days start running one into another seamlessly.

Then I had the Plague and I died. Then I got better and time continued to not really have any meaning to me. Oh, I see this blinding orb move across the sky, then a smaller one moves along the same path, but that has no relation to time. The day and night doesn't mean the date has changed.

And even better, I've started to notice "cognitive impairments", or what most people call "brain fog". I'm hoping that it is side-effects from the Neurontin, which I'm almost maxed out on. If it's not a drug side-effect, *sigh* I don't know. I'm still not sure if I want to know if the cognitive impairment is permanent. Maybe it would be better to not know.

Hell, I may be more impaired than I think. I wonder what my current IQ score is. It was...well above average before all of this started, and the test I took off the interweb at the time which was within one or two points of a professionally administered test when I was in first grade. (time passes) Uh, yeah. My current score isn't as good. Don't start with the older one is, the more unreliable the tests are, and you have to take the exact version, blah, blah, blah. I did want to finish writing this tonight, so I took one of the first tests I found.

Even more fun, I may end up going to the Mayo Clinic. That's another post, because it's the only way to keep on track. But it won't be tonight because I'm saying f*** it and going to sleep with Top Gear in the background.

the really short version, part 2

I just checked the date last post in August, and I was still in the hospital when I made it. So much has happened since then, it's not even funny.

First, I am out of the hospital. I was discharged the evening of August 27. In all seriousness, since then I have either been on my feet or asleep. If I sat down to try to blog, watch TV, bead, I would immediately fall asleep. If I stay on my feet, I stay awake and even alert.

I didn't have a C. diff infection. Officially, I had a flare of the Crohn's Disease. Personally, I think I had the stomach virus that was going around, and it just f***ed me over. With the Crohn's, any sort of stomach bug hits me harder than the average person. That's life for me. This was just the first time that I couldn't nurse myself back to health at home, assuming that it was a virus and not a full-blown flare of the Crohn's.

If it was the Crohn's alone, I needed everything I was given in the hospital. Well, I needed it regardless of if there was a virus along for the ride. Dehydration is dehydration, and IV fluids and meds were what I needed, along with nurses and patient care techs (PCTs) to take care of my physical needs.

So, since then I've been taking my medications, resting, and healing. I'm eating solid food and even been able to start eating some foods with a little more fiber in them which means my diet is becoming less boring.

There is still even more news, and it's a biggie. Stay tuned. OK, so I'll probably write it as soon as I eat and take a round of meds.

the really short version

My neurologist put me on even more Neurontin 2 weeks ago and every, and I do mean every, time I sit down to do anything on the computer I fall asleep. The Neurontin is working great, but getting used to the side effects is taking a lot more time than I expected.

Damn, you have no idea how lucky I am to have been able to stay awake long enough to do this. I need to figure out how to use the computer while walking or something, because as long as I'm doing something active, I'm not falling asleep. It's only when I sit down that it kicks in.

an actual update from the hospital

I've just had my evening meds, so hopefully this will stay coherent.

The Crohn's had been improving slowly since my last hospitalization in June. Of course, pretty much anything is better than needing 2 units of blood transfused every two days because an ulcer had to make a fuss.

At the beginning of this month I started feeling a little crappier, like a minor flare of the Crohn's within the overall flare. No big deal, it happens. I'd had a nice stretch of good days so a few bad days in a row were bound to happen.

On the 10th of this month food stopped becoming my friend completely. I tried giving my GI system a break by well, not eating solid food. Tomato soup, lemonade, and Boost High Protein shakes are pretty much what I lived off of. Plus the usual handful of pills.

Long story short, I went to the doctor, he gave me some antibiotics since it seemed I had a C. difficile infection, based on my symptoms. A week later (Wednesday night) I was getting worse and went to the ER. Early Thursday morning I was admitted and here I've been ever since.

A CT scan showed no abscesses in my abdomen, lab work was negative for a C. difficile infection, and an ultrasound showed my gallbladder is just fine. As of right now, the only explanation for what's going on is a flare up of the Crohn's. That doesn't mean there isn't something else going on, but on the flip side, the longer one has Crohn's, the worse the flares become.

There's still the possibility of an intestinal infection that's not C. difficile, which is why I'm being treated with 2 antibiotics right now. Or I could have a viral infection, in which case I have to wait it out.

My treatment also includes, among other medications, increasing one of my meds that reduces inflammation in the intestines, IV steroids, and Valium (which eases intestinal spasms, relaxes painful skeletal muscle spasms associated with the MS, minimizes the tremor that has developed in my hands as a side effect of another medication, reduces anxiety, and helps with insomnia).

Today I had my first solid food in two full weeks, since the 10th. The doc won't send me home until I can tolerate solid food again, and without the need of heavy-duty IV pain medication. As of right now, I've had two half meals and two snacks consisting of real food (Jello doesn't count as a real food, it's considered a liquid). This hasn't gone as well as I'd hoped. I'm eating small amounts of food with more frequency than I usually do, so I don't overload my system. I'm doing all the right things, but the transition isn't as smooth as I'd hoped.

So that's what has me in the hospital this time; nothing as dramatic as a bleeding ulcer, but a slow downhill slide that requires inpatient care.

When will I be going home? My guess is Tuesday, since I haven't been having a smooth transition to solid food. If I'd been having an easier time, the doc said he might have felt comfortable with sending me home Monday. It all depends on how well I respond to treatment and when we figure out what's causing the abdominal pain that's completely unlike the pain I generally experience with a Crohn's flare.

Did that make sense? It does to me, in a rambling sort of way. A couple of the meds for MS and migraines leave me in a permanent brain fog, so what makes sense to me doesn't always make sense to everyone else.

The joys of the Autoimmune Trifecta.

with great power, comes great arrogance

First, let me say that, on a personal level, I like my pain management doctor and his nurse practitioner (M, a Certified Registered Nurse Practitioner, because I'm lazy). They're great people, and M spent more time than she had to just listening to me when I was in the hospital in June, manic as all hell because of some of the meds I was on.

This is a professional gripe/bitch/moan.

I think the pain management field is broken. There are people out to legally get high and abuse the system. Then there are the rest of us, who live every day of our shortened lives in pain most of you have never experienced, and are denied adequate pain control because of those who abuse the system.

So the fix is to crack down so hard that those of us in delirium-inducing pain have to endure it so that the people who want a buzz can't have one?

"...I will prescribe regimens for the good of my patients according to my ability and my judgment and never do harm to anyone..."
- Hippocratic Oath, Classical version

Withholding treatment causes harm to patients. I think the pain management establishment has forgotten this.

I'm ready to sever my relationship with the pain center and see if my neurologist will take over my pain management. At least he will return my phone calls and won't make me wait weeks for an office visit

~~~

Usually, I try to make light of my medical crap. This is not one of those days.

First, some background information. My current round of neurological meds tend to make me dream very vividly about whatever TV show/movie/book I've just watched or read before going to sleep. I watched "The Prophecy" for the first time in several years right before bed and that night became Thomas Daggett. I've gone back and re-watched the film since then and what I dreamed wasn't in the film. I wasn't just experiencing a scene first-person, I was getting the director's cut in my head.

Yesterday I was in so much pain that I was actually delirious off and on. I found myself living "Stargate Atlantis" (probably because a new episode had been on Friday night, so it was the freshest thing in my memory). I was being tortured for information (by the Genii, if you're familiar with the series) on how to sink the city. I didn't know how to sink the city, I was a member of the science contingent, studying plankton of all things. My torturers thought I was trying to hide information, so they kept going.

I have bruises at the base of my left thumb from where I was biting it, trying not to scream.

(Gods only know what my delusion would have been if I'd been watching Top Gear on BBCAmerica. "The....the Bugatti Veyron has 10 radiators and generates 1,001 brake-horsepower but I don't know how much torque the engine generates at 7,000 RPMs...")

All because I can't get an increase in my pain medications without an office visit, or an actual hospitalization, because some people like to get high.

Now, I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy some of the side effects of using my meds properly. Yes, they make you feel good. Anyone who says differently is a liar. Admittedly, a bullet would feel better after gut-wrenching pain for four fucking hours.

Maybe I do need a nice Thorazine vacation. I don't need 10 years EMS experience to tell me that delusions are not a good sign.

time dilation strikes again

This is a perfect example of how I lose track of days. Without actually looking at the date of the last post, I thought it had been 3, maybe 4 days, tops since my last post. Definitely not a full week.

Yet another fun challenge of learning to live with MS.

Now, I wasn't exactly planning on writing War and Peace this past weekend since my in-laws were in town and CRAP! I've lost an earring. A very nice ear ring that was a gift. It's now time to play scavenger hunt.

...

Okay, found it. Not going to be wearing those ear rings around the house anymore. They're too nice to risk losing again and I'd have to go back to the hospital gift shop to replace them. So, yeah. I have a cheap pair on now that if I don't care much about. They're ear rings; they're plain silver hoops that have no sentimental value and little monetary value.

~~~

Back to living with the time dilation nonsense. I'm used to losing track of hours at a time; I'm an artist, it's pretty common for me to get into my work and suddenly have been at it for 8 hours and in desperate need of a stretch, a pee, and something to eat, not necessarily in that order. This is different, this is days at a time.

During the work week, when I'm home alone, I generally have no clue as to what day it is. I have to use post-it notes to remind myself to go to doctor appointments on the correct day, which usually works. Having the day of the week on the computer also helps, usually.

Then I'll have the other extreme: completely skipping a day in my head. I showed up at the Pain Center to pick up my Friday prescription on a Thursday. Swore it was Friday and what bites is I couldn't pick up my prescription until Friday since my doctor wasn't in to sign it. Plus it would have been considered an early refill if I had picked up on Thursday, and early refills are only allowed in extenuating circumstances, which forgetting which day it was wasn't.

My sleep schedule doesn't help, at all. I tend to sleep during the day, it's always been what works best for me. Unfortunately, I can't keep a daytime sleep schedule mostly because of doctors' appointments. Today is a prime example of that.

I couldn't drive Hubby into work since I had taken some meds that make me very drowsy for about 3 hours. So he drove himself in to work and I slept. In an hour or two we'll do a car-swap at lunch. He'll come and take me out for lunch then after lunch I'll drive him back to work. I'll go to the appointment with my GI by myself, and not on any meds that make me drowsy. Later in the afternoon, I'll go pick him up at work. Typical car-swap day for us and we have the procedure down to an art since we only have one car. We'll fix that once we pay off the current car loan, but not before because we don't need two car payments. Just no.

To top it all off, sleeping for 8 hours = new day, right? That's how I end up jumping ahead in the week. I went to sleep then woke up after several hours (not a nap, a real sleep), so it must be a new day. I thought it was Tuesday yesterday evening because I had just woken up from eight hours of sleep and was a little disoriented.

At least I'm no longer waking up and wondering what happened to my hospital room, why is the bed different, where are the windows, the is the TV mounted on the wall. It's sad when you don't recognize your own house.

the stigma of pain medications

From the "chaps my ass" file...er, maybe that's not quite the right description. How about "pisses me off"?

The stigma of being ill. It's there, and it's real. If you've ever been sick and not wanted to tell someone the truth, you've been there.

Why? Why should we be ashamed of being sick, of having an illness? Why should some symptoms of a disease be acceptable, and some not?

I'm not talking about polite conversation here, about descriptions of diarrhea. There's a time an place for thing which may squick people. And I know there's the grey area where polite society meets genuine social stigma, a taboo.

Pain Medications

I'll admit, I've felt ashamed of the fact I have to take opiates/opioids/narcotics/the heavy-duty shit or whatever you call them. There is a genuine stigma, a social taboo, associated with taking opiates on a regular basis. If I don't take them, I'm in severe pain, and that's the end of it. Well, the opiates also slow down the digestive tract, which in me is a good thing. There area actually prescription anti-diarrheal meds that are opiates.

But I digress.

Why should I feel ashamed of taking an opiate every day so I can maintain functionality? Why should anyone feel that way?

You're just getting high. Pain patients only want the narcotic high. She keeps getting stronger drugs, she's hooked. Candy-man. Taking narcotics every day makes you an addict. Addict...dope-head...not really in that much pain...cope with it, everybody had pain...

Did I miss any?

Why? Why should this be?

I expressed my nagging anxiety about being on opiates to the psychiatrist who did the psych consult for me, to prescribe the meds to even out the steroid/demerol psychosis. He asked me to define "addiction" and I ended up with more or less, using or taking something for the pleasure of it, because of a want, not a need.

A want is addiction. A need is a symptom and a controlled medical condition.

I had to get over this anxiety. Why should I be afraid of being an addict? How do I take my meds? Every 6 hours maximum of 4 a day, says the bottle. But sometimes, when the pain is bad, I take two and ration out the remainder to last until my refill.

Both the psychaitrist and my pain doctor said the same thing.

It's OK.

It's OK. Some days are worse than others, and that's the nature of pain. The 4 a day is a guideline, and a double dose is fine; what would be prescribed, and perfectly safe.

I signed a contract with the Pain Center that I would use my opiate prescription exactly as prescribed. I would not take extra or double doses, I would not run out early. If I break the terms of the contract, I will be completely SOL as they drop me as a patient.

My doctor said it was fine to break the contract in that way. It's expected, from every patient, just as long as I don't go trying to get early refills.

- What about nausea/vomiting with the Crohn's? I asked. If I take a double dose, throw it up [he could see the anxiety building in me], I'll come up short...

Hmmm...well, if that happens, we know about your Crohn's and you take both phenergan and zofran for nausea/vomiting? Just let us know, I'll make a note of it in your chart, you can have early refills in this case, until your Crohn's settles down.

- What about alternative routes? Trans-dermal patch, oral gel...

We can give you some fentanyl patches to use for bad days. They're not for breakthrough pain, that's what 2 percocets are for, since the fentanyl patches takes a couple of days to build in your system. Use them for a few days instead of the tablets during bad stretches. Talk to us if you look like you're going to run short. We'll take care of you.

- OK, but sometimes I think the phone messages I leave end up being a game of telephone and by the time it gets to you it seem like I'm not having as much of a problem as I actually am...

Yeah, that happens. Just call us back, make sure I get the message. I'll take care of you.

I'll take care of you.

Now, as a patient, I really should keep a pain diary. Log my pain levels each time I take my meds. I have three diseases which are painful individually, not to mention the snowball effect pain has. It has real physical effects that are negative. Higher blood pressure, higher pulse, higher stress overall.

I do not need any more stress. It has a history of making my diseases worse, especially the Crohn's.

...

So I've just revealed to the entire blogosphere what I take, why, and even how much and how often. I feel better, less stressed, because I know there's no shame in taking my medications the doctor has prescribed, needs me to take.

But. This should never have been an issue in the first place. I'm not telling you about taking my migraine preventative, after all. That med is not an issue in society.

Why should being treated for severe pain, by an anesthesiologist be any different?

It shouldn't. Unfortunately it is. For me, for other patients, for society. There's something very wrong with that.

we have internet again!!! and friday catblogging

Having drug-induced mania and insmonia and not having internet is really not cool, at all.

Of course as soon as the hospital fixed their internet problems, it was Consult Time. And vitals checks, and lunch, and another consult, and, and...

Yeah.

The parentals arrived from a land far, far away where there is a metric shitload of water covering everything, floating down here in their custom-built ark. Well, not an ark exactly. It's a Toyboata, so it's a bit smaller. You have to have a Dampervan before you enter the ark size range.

Just google those two vessels.

On with the show.

Insomnia, mania, tremors, paranoia, depression, inappropriate emotional responses, auditory hallucinations, visual hallucinations. Name that condition.

No, you're wrong.

Steroid psychosis. It's so much fun, and deserves it's own post. That is one of those topics.

It's still Friday, it must be Friday Catblogging. Tonight, Freya's tonsils.


Momma, why you flashy light at me?

Now for a bonus photo...



When bloggers end up in the hospital what do we do? Take pictures and post them on the internet.

The track marks on my arm from repeated sticks for bloodwork. Photos? Yes or no.

~~~

Be sure to head over to Modulator for the Friday Ark and some soggy moggies, among other beasties.

what i'm doing and why i'm doing it, plus a cat picture

I have decided that fate, karma, destiny, luck, deity, or whatever you want to call it has a job for me to do...

Hello, my name is Mira d'Oubliette, or Mira of the Oubliette. I hope you enjoy your stay in my small, dark corner of the internet.

I am an artist. I paint in oils and acrylics. I draw in anything I can get my hands on.

I am a photographer.

I am a writer, a wife, an aunt, a sister, a daughter, a granddaughter, an in-law, a niece, a patient, a retired EMT, an art historian, a thirty-something woman, a Roman Wiccan, a cat lover, a sci-fi geek, an internet geek, a geek in general, a National Weather Service Storm Spotter, and a Jill-of-many-trades. (You can stop humming Meridith Brooks now.)

I have Crohn's Disease, Multiple Sclerosis, and Rheumatoid Arthritis. These are all autoimmune disease, and I collectively call this the Autoimmune Trifecta. I have had Crohn's the longest, since 1986. I was born in 1976. Yes, you're doing the math right.

I am now a professional writer and photographer who works from home due to multiple autoimmune diseases. Working from my home allows me to have some professional life while being able to take care of physical needs as they occur. As I have a two decade medical history, and I am not getting any younger, this is the best option for me.

I will write here about my life. I will be frank, possibly offensive on occasion, and unapologetic. I will write stream-of-consciousness style mostly. I will share with anyone who wants to read this blog my ups and downs, stories of coping with Crohn's disease as a nine year old child, my thoughts on a thunderstorm, pictures of my cats or whatever else strikes me when I have camera in hand. I will answer emails as I best I can and at my discretion, which means I may not answer every piece of email. Also, please, for the love of the internet, remember spam filters sometimes grab non-spam. They go for spam and get Vienna sausages instead...

This is my job, and I am serious about doing it, although the content will not always be serious in nature. Yes, serious about not being serious. Anyone may ask me any questions about anything. That doesn't mean I'll answer every question. I have my prerogative and I will exercise it. This is also not a crisis line. Please, if you are having a medical crisis, call 911, don't email me first.

This blog is about real life, the good, the bad, and the otherwise. I will write frankly and honestly, within my comfort zone, about my life. My comfort zone can vary from day to day, but in general it is fairly broad. I will try to keep this website work safe, at a PG-13 level. I will talk about medical conditions and procedures using proper medical terminology, and I will provide links to definitions or define terms within a post. If there is something you are unfamiliar with and I don't explain, Google it or go to Wikipedia. Wikipedia will be your friend for general "oh, that's what that is" information. It's mine. Do not think I'm talking down when I take the time to explain something in detail. I'm saving a link to Wikipedia.

I will try to update daily. I understand, and you should too, that I may not be able to do that, or that some days my post will be very short. I have good days, I have bad days, and I have really shitty days. Understand this. I am writing this from my hospital bed after having lost more than 4 units of blood in 36 hours from a bleeding ulcer in my intestine. I'm having a good night, I can't sleep, but I'm not feeling that bad, and I can type and think.

Multiple Sclerosis is a disease that effects the central nervous system. This is the brain and spinal cord.

Multiple sclerosis can cause a variety of symptoms, including paranoid delusions, changes in sensation (hypoesthesia), muscle weakness, abnormal muscle spasms, or difficulty to move; difficulties with coordination and balance; problems in speech (Dysarthria) or swallowing (Dysphagia), visual problems (Nystagmus, optic neuritis, or diplopia), fatigue and acute or chronic pain syndromes, bladder and bowel difficulties, cognitive impairment, or emotional symptomatology (mainly clinical depression).
-Wikipedia, Multiple sclerosis signs and symptoms

I could suffer from any one or combination of the above at any time. I woke up partially blind one day, and that is how the "Yes, it is definitely MS" diagnosis was made.

People with autoimmune diseases do not always look sick. Often we don't. Crohn's disease attacks the digestive system, yet I was heaver than ideal. Then I began to lose over a pound of body weight a day. A pound a day, and that could last for months, in an extreme situation. I'm not as overweight as I was just 10 days ago, I'm about 15 pounds lighter, depending on which sets of scales I use for the before and after weights. There is a margin for error in this, but the physical signs of my skin becoming loose on my body is obvious.

Have you seen Silence of the Lambs? Where the killer puts the victims in a pit, doesn't feed them for a few days to loosen their skins, before killing them. I would be easy to skin right now.

You have probably noticed I have an eccentric sense of humor that can be on the grim side.

If you can't handle it, go somewhere else.

If you can't handle rapid mental gear changes, go somewhere else.

As of right now, because of the MS and medications I'm on, I fixate on things. This post is an example. I'm currently fixated on writing this, laying out how it is in no uncertain terms. I could and probably will be fixated on something else in an hour or two. I may want to write about it, I may be doing something completely different. That's how this works.

I have been told I am an inspiration, a hero, an amazing person, and many other wonderful things. I have been told every day from May 30, 2008 to June 12, 2008 that I should tell my story. Maybe I'm an inspiration, but I don't think I'm a hero or doing anything all that special. I'm living my life. I've had to make major adjustments in my lifestyle that I thought were many years away, but caught up with me sooner than I expected, sooner than I wanted.

I see this a work, a job. My job is to provide entertainment; something enjoyable, interesting, thought-provocative, sometimes bitter, sometimes sweet, writing and photographs. That's my job. I get paid by readers dropping money in the Oubliette's PayPal Tip Jar. You decide what to pay me. This is a different kind of new internet economy, right here. I get paid whatever you think I should get paid. I am not asking for a hand-out. I will be documenting my income, and the rest is my problem. You are not donating to a charity, you are buying a subscription to a dynamically written journal. This is business, but there are no ads on this site, and there never will be. I have complete control of the content of this, my little corner of the internet.

I write stream of consciousness. Sometimes this is good, sometimes this is bad. I'm a fairly good self-editor, but typos and screw-ups occur. Some thing will certainly get past spell check and all the other electronic assistance these days to make sure writing is coherent.

I am not alone in this. My friend is helping me with this. He is Telephorus, the Accomplisher, named so after the son of the Greek god of medicine, Asclepius. I have a long-time interest in the religion of ancient Mediterranean cultures (Egyptian, Greek, Roman, Minoan, and so on), and people will be named after figures from these cultures. Telephorus may post here on occasion, at his desire, but I'm not going to let him steal my thunder. Along the same vein, privacy will be respected and defended for everyone. I will use pseudonyms for everyone unless I've been told it is unnecessary.

*takes a deep breath and looks at the verbal diarrhea*

If you made it this far, congratulations. You just read my terms of service, mission statement, and some randomness.

As I stated previously, this is a profit-making venture, to a point. I have operating costs to create this, then I have medical bills. Constant medical bills. That's what I'd like to have a little extra $ for. You may subscribe to this blog as an RSS feed, so think consider paying for your subscription. The amount is at your discretion, what you think this is worth to you.

Thank you for reading this, and allow me to extend a whole-hearted welcome to my little corner of the internet. Stay as long as you like, poke around, or just take a moment to look at a cute cat picture.

And you can't say I didn't live up to my promise of a cat picture.



Say hello to Freya, the youngest Oubliette cat. There are 4 more.

good intentions, crappy timing

This is a very abbreviated version of what's going on. Oh, do I have stories for here, when I feel up to writing them.

I am in the hospital, again. I was out 3 whole friggin' days when I was admitted to the hospital.

Three days.

Friday, June 6, I developed an intestinal bleed. Tests were performed, and I have "quite a few ulcers" along my transverse colon (the bit of large intestine that goes sideways, up high). One or more of the ulcers had started bleeding.

I had to have 2 units of blood transfused Saturday night and 2 more units on Monday night. At this time I am resting in my room, seeing how I tolerate the switch from IV to oral steroids. Medication and blood count monitoring.

No, there is no guarantee that I won't need more blood.

And that's just the Crohn's disease.

I'm still having MS symptoms, and good for me, the treatment for them are steroids. This not a two-for-one-sale on disease treatment. For a limited time we will throw in treatment for rheumatoid arthritis for no extra charge. That's right folks, three diseases, one treatment. And as an extra bonus, we'll throw in pain management with heavy duty opiates. This is a limited time offer, we can't do this forever....

I have just two words: pain crisis. I have an abbreviation, too: IV.

I'm not going home before Thursday, and if things go great, I'd prefer Friday.

Thank all that's holy my doc has "you'll be here as long as it takes" attitude and isn't trying to get me out of here in X many days.

In the mean time, I forgot I had a MySpace page, www.myspace.com/mira_pictrix. Go friend me, I'll return the favor. Tell me you wandered in from the Oubliette so I can make an Oubliette group or something. No, I'm not a big MySpacer, but it is really convenient in mass-updating people.

Freya will never let me leave her side again. Ever. I will have a furry tumor on my leg that will be impossible to remove.

Stay tuned for Freya the Service Cat.

I'm not shitting you on that, either. Really, Freya the Service Animal.