Sunday, January 09, 2005

an anniversary, and what the oubliette is

I just realized a couple days ago a very important anniversary passed without me noticing. It's been just over a year now since I started receiving Remicade infusions for my Crohn's Disease and Ankylosing Spondylitis. It's amazing the difference it has made. The Remicade seems to have significantly slowed or even stopped the progression of both conditions, which is great news for me. It can't undo the permanent damage that's been done to my digestive tract or my back, which is something I will have to continue to live with. I'm so happy neither seem to be getting worse, both seem to have gone into remission.

I know I really haven't written much about either of my conditions before, only mentioned them in passing in other posts. The Oubliette isn't even 3 months old yet, so I'm really still working out what this blog will be. I knew from the start that I didn't want to have a blog that was about having Crohn's or AS; it's a part of my life, but only a part. I wanted to introduce myself to the blogosphere before I introduced my medical conditions.

This is how I am in the physical world, too. I want people to know me, not my disease. I want people to judge me based on my abilities, opinions, any and everything else. I'm not ashamed of the Crohn's or the AS, I've had nearly 2 decades to come to terms with them. The Crohn's and AS should be an afterthought in people's minds, not the first thing that comes to mind when someone thinks of me. I am not a medical condition, and I don't let them dominate my life.

I don't want pity from anybody. Don't get me wrong, sympathy is great, sympathy and compassion gets a person through the tough times. Pity only makes you feel worse about yourself, drags a person down. It's the difference between encouragement and discouragement. Fortunately for me, I'm not easily offended, or try very hard not to be, because most people mean well. Even if what they are trying to say doesn't quite come out the way they want, in my experience, most people try to be encouraging as much as possible.

So, all this leads to what is The Oubliette about? Whatever has my attention when I decide to compose a post, so almost anything could end up here. This isn't a pure poliblog, newsblog, catblog, or anything else. Since the Crohn's and AS are as much a part of my life as anything else, I really can't exclude them from here without ignoring part of my daily life. Ultimately, that's all they are, a part of my life, and not my entire life.

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