giving a cat a bath

Friday, the kitties were stinky, and had a few fleas, so it was time for a bath. Spring kitty cleaning. I thought it would be a simple matter, Luke helped me restrain/scrub them. Eep is the most anti-social, so she goes first. She, who I thought would be the most problem, initially had a fit when her feet hit the water, but soon resorted to pitiful mewling. Next came Noah, since he was sitting outside the bathroom, watching the spectacle, making fun of Eep. Now, Noah simply won't admit he likes baths, a nice warm all-over massage. In secret, he really likes them, even if he looks like a drowned rat afterwards.

Then came McCullough. No problem, I thought, I had help. I put her in the water, and OMG, she spazzed. But I had Luke, I thought, and surely the two of us could bathe a single domestic feline. She's wanting something to rest her feet on, so I let her rest her back paws on the bottom of the tub, and her front paws agains the back wall of the bath. She was still having a fit as Luke and I alternated holding and lathering her. About this time, McCullough started to panic, so I told her what a good kitty she was, not to be afraid, etc., and held her up to my face to give her kitty kisses, which usually she loves. The wench of a cat bit me square on the nose. She lets go, and I'm feeling something warm and wet on my nose. And McCullough still is full of soap. We still had to rinse her. I'm still the designated cat-holder, while Luke rinses her with the shower wand. I'm holding her, hands wrapped around her ribcage under her armpits. The little wench decides she likes the taste of man-flesh, reaches her head around and bites my right wrist, and WOULDN'T LET GO. Luke had to pry her jaws open, because just pulling on her head was going to rip a chunck of flesh out of my arm. We finish rinising her, and she doesn't even get a towel drying. She can be wet, ungrateful little wench.

Now, I consider myself a fairly good cat wrestler. I just didn't expect my sweet little McCullough to turn into the spawn of Satan when water was applied. Right now, I'm still looking for a good bog to throw her in, although she has tried to seduce me with her cuddly ways. I'm immune to them, at least until the physical wounds heal, and the scars serve as a reminder - have ketamine on hand when bathing a psycho-ninja former street cat. Give it to the cat, or yourself, whichever. Oh yes, the wounds may heal, including the 4 puncture wounds on the tip of my nose, but the scars will serve as a reminder forever. Damn psycho-ninja wench of a cat.

So, nope, no photos of wet cats, I was too busy BLEEDING. Here's a picture of the little demon, trying pretend to be a good kitty.



Don't be fooled. She's plotting when and how she will next taste human flesh.